Peace

A little song comes to my mind when I think about peace. I can't remember who sings it (It's a toss up between something Agapeland and Psalty I think) and the words are these -

"Shhh. Peace, be still. Shhh. Peace, be still.

We all need peace, we always will.

Shhh. Peace, be still"

A lot has happened in the last 24 hours for Joel and I both spiritually. It's all still very fresh and raw and a little personal to be sharing here right now - probably someday soon as we discover what exactly it is that God is speaking to us. But I wanted to share this. Today I was praying and looking around on the computer at different websites. Since we attended Living Hope Church, I stopped by their website to see what was new and was hit with their "Only God" slogan. I smiled and started singining the "Only God" song that they wrote for Easter last year at the Rose Garden (When Pastor John has a theme, he runs with it!). As I was singing, God started speaking to me and the realization that

Only HE is my Healer

hit me like a ton of bricks. I am currently on my 8th line of treatment for my blood disorder. 7 different treatments have not worked and the 8th one, I found out today, probably isn't either (my count is 35k today. It'll be re-checked Thursday again).

I immediately and unexplicably had the most perfect peace in my spirit. It doesn't matter that 7 treatments haven't worked. It doesn't matter that this treatment won't work. It doesn't matter if any treatment, any time works. God is in control of the war raging in my blood right now. When He chooses to heal me, it will be in His time and for His glory - which incidentally has been the cry of my heart the last year as we've dealt with so many hard things in our family.

Today my count was down. But I am more encouraged than ever. I am believing that as I journey through this season, God's going to answer the one prayer that I have cried out for since the very beginning: That His Name be glorified in my life.