Update

Ecc. 3:11: "God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. "

So much to tell! Let me start by saying this: My faith has been stirred. Maybe it was the weeks of not being able to participate in church or church related activities, maybe it was the constant agonizing pain and/or the dopiness of the pain meds, maybe it was a combination of everything the last year + has held for me (and us), but I was losing my faith. I didn't stop believing in God or deny the fact that I believed Jesus is the Son of God, and he saved my soul, but I was losing my belief that God could really work a miracle in my life. That being said, here's the 'practical' plan for my health and the spiritual side of God working in my life and in my body.

Treatment: We have stopped the injections. While I was very disappointed and overwhelmed at the thought of them not working, I was VERY relieved because frankly, I couldn't handle the pain anymore. Between the pain and the pain meds, taking care of my husband, children and home was nearly impossible. I never left the house unless I didn't have a choice and the kids and I spent a LOT of time "snuggling" on the couch watching cartoons together - because I couldn't handle doing much else. I have a new respect for people in chronic pain. The longer it goes on, the more it wears on your mental, emotional and, if you aren't careful, spiritual state.

I went in on Thursday (with my wonderful Husband by my side) and met with my Doctor. My count was 617,000 which leads us to believe that if we could do small doses of something to stop destruction and do small doses of AMG 531 to cause production, we could have a good plan on our hands. However, until the AMG drug is FDA approved, the Doctors' hands are tied in how they're allowed to use it. Since we couldn't immediately go down to a small dose (requirements stipulate that it must be weaned down dose by dose), we decided to stop completely and try something else. If my count is 300,000 or less on Tuesday (i.e., down my more than half), we will start a round of 'pulsing' the steroid dexamethasone, 40mg for 5 days, then off for 3 weeks. We're going to try this for three months.

All of that being said, Tuesday afternoon, I went in for my lab draw and the study nurse had decided to hold off on my injection until my appointment on Thursday. On Thursday after my appointment (after it was finalized that I was off for good) I emailed my house church pastors to let them know we'd be able to start coming again. She emailed back and said that they had prayed for me/us that Tuesday night, which is not a coincidence that all of this happened the same week as the decision for my treatment to stop. Today, we were at church and there was an altar call for prayer for healing. Of course I jumped on it and as we went forward, Joel's cousin Shawn met us at the front (they're house church/lay pastors on the prayer team). He said that he had really had a burden to pray for me/us as he walked into church this morning and was glad that we were standing there together.

I can't say what will happen Tuesday, but I know this: God's timing is perfect.